i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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