The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
