can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
