It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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