C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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