I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
