you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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