Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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