i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
