My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
