So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
