every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
