office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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