We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
