I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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