He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
