He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.