I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize