when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
