i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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