I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
