Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i came on her dog
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
