i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
