turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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