I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was born a porn star she said
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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