I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't deserve a penis
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize