to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
