Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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