i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
