Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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