The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she woke up with a sticky ear
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You took a bar mat shot.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
