this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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