:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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