Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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