I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
