i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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