just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
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I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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