Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
