I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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