Having a random hookup so left but love u
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
