whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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