I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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