my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
