I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
