heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
