I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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