party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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