If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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