Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
