I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
