I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
