They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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