I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
