That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
