I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
