Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
