he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
