I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
