also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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