No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
