How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
